Jan 29, 2014

There are Worse Things than Tragedies

Hi.  Does anybody still read this?  Today is B's 4th birthday.  It didn't really get celebrated like other years. Well, I bought Shane a heart-shaped donut.  And one for myself.  Noah wanted hash browns instead.  There was no gathering, no ritual, precious little external acknowledgment.  Life goes on, I guess.  I wasn't sad today until I realized that I wasn't sad and that felt sad to me.  Now I'm a little sad.  Anyway.  Get to the point, Teresa.

my mom and me

Shane and his Grampy
I've said before, that before it happened to me I USED to think that there could be nothing worse on earth than to lose your baby.  Some of you may still feel that way.  Some of you are still thinking you could never survive it.  I know how you feel.  But I've come to understand that there's lots of worse things.  There's something worse than all the tragedies really.

The kids' great grandparents making out on Christmas Eve 2013

The worst thing I can see that happens to people is that we get stuck in the mundane and forget to enjoy our lives.  We forget to enjoy the people around us.  It happens to everyone to some degree.

I appreciate that I'm not in the throes of fresh grief today.  That is the gift of tragedy.  Perspective.  Awareness.  I am in general happier now that I've had some time to recover from that tough season.  Happier than I was ever before it happened.  Because I didn't realize quite as much what I had to enjoy in my life until my tree was shaken like that.

my brother and I getting silly circa 1976

my boys sharing a moment of peace

This has been a long, dark, cold winter.  It's a bit of a struggle to call up the joy in life.  That's my charge today, to myself, in honor of my little girl.  Let's recognize the treasures in the mundane.  Let's appreciate the fact that we have all that we have in this moment.

Let's relax a little bit more.  Let's do a little bit less.  Let's listen to ourselves talk to our children.  Let's gently encourage ourselves to be more loving.  Let's count our blessings.

I think this is by Frida Kahlo - I don't "get it" but it's a powerful image for me