Mar 21, 2012

Wind in the Willows

I was reading to Shane tonight.  By some sweet circumstance, I got Noah to bed earlier and it was just Shane and me.  This fact made me giddy, its far too rare a seen nowadays, and the simplicity of earlier years flooded me with nostalgia.

Before school.  Before I worked.  Before Jimmy's injury or layoffs.  Before a 2nd and 3rd pregnancy, before the death and the birth of a new sibling.  Before our marriage ended.

Shane and I would snuggle in my bed in the middle of the day and I would read him The Wind in the Willows.

He asks me tonight why it has that title.  I read from the last sentance of the first chapter, where Mole was relaxing in his boat, just listening to the wind blowing through the willow trees, sure that he could make out what the wind was whispering.  I explain that it was a simple and peaceful time, when there were no other cares but to listen to the sounds of nature around you. 

I feel a lump in my throat.  We have been through some hard times.  Times that have taken us so far from those innocent days.  Through it all, I kept going, what else can anyone do?  But tonight, maybe mostly for Shane's sake, I feel a sadness wash over me.  And I long for that simple time every once in awhile.  Reading books to Shane under the covers in the middle of the day.