Feb 19, 2013

Oh. The Humanity.

So, not sure if I should be embarrassed to admit this or not ... I joined an online dating website.  Because it's been 1 1/2 years since my husband moved in with his girlfriend, because I live in a mommy bubble and literally know only women.  And their husbands.  And because I need attention and distraction, and there are hardly any TV shows I like.

It is a different world, people.  I feel like a grandma saying this, but the last time I was in the dating pool, there was no texting or internet.  Nowa-modern-days it's all there seems to be.

I am getting internet attention, but to be honest half the time I don't know what the hell is going on.  I don't speak the language, and I'm often confused.  There are all these little conversations that start, and then for one reason or another, one of us just stops responding.  The pool is sooo huge, there are always shiny new people popping in, and it's too many to keep track of ... It's fickle business.

Remember when we were fully human?  And we didn't have to worry about the staff robot's analysis of our personality, posted for all potential suitors to read.  My personality chart profiles my extreme bad manners.  For real.  I mean, I can't argue but HOW DID THEY KNOW??

I would not have noticed without this little foray how much I enjoy and depend on really, the physical being of a human that I'm getting to know.  I feel lost getting to know people without seeing and hearing them.  I feel lost without witnessing a person's tone and expression in conversation, a person's scent even.  There is energy and spirit that somehow gets transmitted much more clearly when in the presence of the physical form of a person. We are intelligent beings, yet we are animals, and our knowing comes from more than written word.

So.  So.  I don't know if I like it.  And that's good information for myself.  Now I can set clearer intentions.