Apr 21, 2014

Wave Pool Wisdom

This little blog has sort of taken a different direction than was first intended.  I sometimes, um, feel shy about how exposed I've made myself here.  I also haven't had much to say, life has settled down a bit, and I've been rather content just plodding through, not really needing to process so publicly.

This year, impulsively, I booked an Easter weekend stay for my mom, myself and the kids at The Cape Codder Resort, mostly because of the wave pool. There are life lessons everywhere...

It's important, once in a while, to thrust yourself down a dark and watery slide. Let your stomach drop, let your heart sicken for the brief moments before you are plunged into the light.  Remind yourself that terror can give way to thrill, and that both are temporary.  Repeat as necessary.

If you like what you're doing, like playing in the waves, consider cancelling all your other plans and stay in the waves.  I'm always pleased when I recognize the opportunity to do less.  You may find you have the pool and the slides all to yourselves while the crowd rushes outside hunting for eggs.  Suckers.

Take longer than your fair share in the hot tub.  Because, as my mother used to say, life's not fair.

Jan 29, 2014

There are Worse Things than Tragedies

Hi.  Does anybody still read this?  Today is B's 4th birthday.  It didn't really get celebrated like other years. Well, I bought Shane a heart-shaped donut.  And one for myself.  Noah wanted hash browns instead.  There was no gathering, no ritual, precious little external acknowledgment.  Life goes on, I guess.  I wasn't sad today until I realized that I wasn't sad and that felt sad to me.  Now I'm a little sad.  Anyway.  Get to the point, Teresa.

my mom and me

Shane and his Grampy
I've said before, that before it happened to me I USED to think that there could be nothing worse on earth than to lose your baby.  Some of you may still feel that way.  Some of you are still thinking you could never survive it.  I know how you feel.  But I've come to understand that there's lots of worse things.  There's something worse than all the tragedies really.

The kids' great grandparents making out on Christmas Eve 2013

The worst thing I can see that happens to people is that we get stuck in the mundane and forget to enjoy our lives.  We forget to enjoy the people around us.  It happens to everyone to some degree.

I appreciate that I'm not in the throes of fresh grief today.  That is the gift of tragedy.  Perspective.  Awareness.  I am in general happier now that I've had some time to recover from that tough season.  Happier than I was ever before it happened.  Because I didn't realize quite as much what I had to enjoy in my life until my tree was shaken like that.

my brother and I getting silly circa 1976

my boys sharing a moment of peace

This has been a long, dark, cold winter.  It's a bit of a struggle to call up the joy in life.  That's my charge today, to myself, in honor of my little girl.  Let's recognize the treasures in the mundane.  Let's appreciate the fact that we have all that we have in this moment.

Let's relax a little bit more.  Let's do a little bit less.  Let's listen to ourselves talk to our children.  Let's gently encourage ourselves to be more loving.  Let's count our blessings.

I think this is by Frida Kahlo - I don't "get it" but it's a powerful image for me