Brynnisms

She would be 8 1/2 months now.  Maybe starting to crawl.  Eating solid foods.  We would know her preferences well.  She would smile and have chubby baby legs.

I will share what I do know about her for sure, from my pregnancy.  She did not like meat of any kind.  I could eat the most bitter vegetables all day long with her.  I'd have an over-easy egg on a bed of dark greens with balsamic vinagrette for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I drank gallons of lime-ade mixed with coconut milk.  Some mornings I'd have a lime-coconut popsicle before breakfast.  I had never done that before in my life.  And grapefruits every day.  And greek yogurt.  She was an efficient and healthy eater.

She would always move when I sang Shane to sleep.  I was singing to Shane the last time I felt her move, actually.

She was super active.  My nickname for her was "Kicky."  Early on in her movements she seemed to be searching for the exit.  "Buscando la Salida," I used to say.  I knew all along that I was in for a huge challenge with her.  I told a friend recently that she will ever be my most challenging child.  I had a sense that she was very strong-willed and independent.  Not the type to put up with fences.

Over the summer I got this impression of her, like a teenager exasperated with me, "Mom, when are you going to stop being mad at me for dying?  Get over yourself, mom, I didn't mean to!"  She's a no-nonsense, in-your-face kind of spirit.  Then again, I sense an impish side.  After all, she's part of this family, and we are an irreverent bunch.

So, that's my baby.  I wish there was more, but I'm grateful for what there is.  In a way that I wouldn't understand otherwise, she is alive to me, in her way.