How do I feel this week? The progressive anniversaries of Brynn's life, death, and birth, all out of order. Mostly I feel love. I'm grateful for that. She is a legend to me. A feminine spirit so wild and free that no body could hold her. Not mine, not her own. Still she had so much purpose here. Touched many lives. Softened my heart forever. I'm grateful for that too. It could have gone the other way. We saw her doing a front walkover at her 20 week ultrasound. She kicked me so hard that last week of her life, you could see her foot extending my belly.
I feel like there are things I should do, and others who want to, to commemorate her anniversary. I feel like buying myself flowers, makeup and jewelry, and something ridiculously pink.
She was the most efficient self-nourisher. By that I mean I really only "craved" the healthiest foods during her pregnancy. With Noah, my little Buddha, I ate refined carbs and red meat, and sweets. With Brynn I ate dark, raw leafy greans, grapefruit, limes, eggs, nuts and beans. No meat.
When I think of her I think of being unapologetically who I am. And cosmically connected.
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