|Guess what this is ;)|
I'll start out with a little foreshadowing to show how serendipitous my prenatal care has been this time. In that first week after I peed on that most serendipitous of pee sticks, I sat in front of the computer and said aloud, "Guide me."
I didn't know where to go for care. It was clear to me that my previous midwife didn't have the technological or the mental/emotional resources to deal with my post-stillbirth pregnancy. I wanted someone strong, someone who could walk this delicate line with me between natural midwiferous care and high-risk options. Glory be for google once again, I googled high risk midwife south shore. One practice came up over and over, with glowing recommendations. I called and the receptionist even said Sorry for your loss which may seem run-of-the-mill to some, but in my experience with healthcare professionals, it is unusually nice. I got a call right back, from a midwife, who low and behold grew up a missionary kid in Africa and graduated from my small, private, Christian college in Wheaton Illinois!
So today was my 18 week ultrasound, sandwiched in between a genetic counseling appointment and a consult with a Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor (aka high-risk OB). BOTH of these professionals had late losses. I KNOW!! In my strange new world this is good news. And Dr. Achilles Athanassiou is obviously Greek, which means that there's a 99.9% chance that he's Orthodox Christian, which means even more to me in terms of being in the same club.
They are taking such good care of me and my baby Noah Matthew, and he made sure to point out that not only is that a penis, but that it's fully erect.
PS - Please don't ask me if I'm sad or mixed that it's not a girl, or that this child's life is precipitated by Brynn's death. I will hate to answer it, it will bring me down. Baby gender is the small stuff that bereaved parents just can not sweat. It is what it is and it does absolutely no good to dwell on what could or would have been. Nobody knows, and it doesn't matter. My feelings for Brynn and my feelings for Noah are not intertwined in my head. I think of them as my Irish twins.
PPS - Jimmy already promised that if we have a boy this time we get to try again for a girl, which is the only way in this life I could get 3 living kids out of him, so don't you be sad either.