So, I have faith. Since I've been on my own, and, you know, not "working" I have less money, I guess, but because I am in control of it all, it feels like enough. I can't remember ever feeling that way about money before.
I have faith about money. But then, sometimes having faith feels like I'm being lazy. If I'm not obsessing over it, then I'm not doing my part. So then I feel guilty for being lazy. I feel my stress level increase because for some reason feeling like I'm being lazy is just, I can't live with it. I would rather give myself an ulcer because then at least nobody could say I didn't do anything about it.
My belly increases from the stress hormone. My clothes don't fit anymore, so that's another thing to be depressed about.
This is what its like to be completely insane.
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