Feb 19, 2010

Getting MAD about S.A.D.

Three weeks ago today was Brynn's birthday.

In the past weeks I have found (or they have been found for me) a few other stillborn/ lost infant moms to talk to at length, and to guide me in this lifelong process.

Something I notice in all of our stories is starting to make me angry. There seems to be a general lack of concern from the obstetric community as to why our babies died.

In the hospital, the response I got back was that babies are fragile, that more than half of the time an autopsy finds nothing, and chances are whatever it was won't effect the next pregnancy. As the weeks go by, this answer is less and less satisfactory.

1 in 115 births in the US are stillborn. That's 1 every 20 minutes. More than half of the 30,000 stillbirths each year in the United States have no known causes. Just because the medical report reads 'cause of death: undeterminable,' doesn't mean there wasn't a cause of death. Of course there was. Over 15,000 per year for this country alone is a lot of babies to lose and not ask why.

As far as I've found in my initial research, there seems to be only one medical professional interested in learning more about the causes of perinatal death, and in improving the statistic. His information is in the entry below.

Could Brynn's death have been prevented? I think maybe it could have been. The concerns I had during the last weeks of pregnancy, were quickly calmed when voiced to my caregiver. The strange left-side contractions I felt on Tuesday night were dismissed as indigestion over the phone on Wednesday morning. I never felt Brynn move after those contractions, and I'm now convinced that's when she died.

I didn't know at that time that there was any problem. I was confident in her health, and I didn't want to seem like a crazy worrier. I don't blame myself or my care provider for Brynn's death. Yet, I can't help but wish that somehow, we had kept her alive. I wish I had been more in tune, and had better advocated for myself and for my baby. I promise to seem as crazy as I need to be forevermore, to honor baby Brynn.

Here is some good information for pregnant moms I wish I'd had earlier:

statistics sources:

1 comment:

  1. My heart breaks for you all. Silent tears and lots of love are all I have to give and they are yours. Heidi