Our Birth Story

On Thursday, January 28, 2010 I was very tired, as is typical of the last weeks of pregnancy, and so ready to have this baby. Shane and I headed to my routine midwife appt. When she couldn't find the heartbeat initially, we headed down the street to the hospital to get an ultrasound.

I asked my midwife how often this happened, that she couldn't find a heartbeat. She said not very often. I asked, before I really started to panic, what would happen if there was no heartbeat on the ultrasound. She said we'd induce labor. I looked sternly at my belly, holding it with a little shake and commanded "move!"

I looked at the ceiling while the Dr. looked at the machine, and I prayed. I could tell by the silence in the room that my baby was dead, and that it was too late to pray to save her. I told God that this news would not cause me to turn from Him, but that He better not think of leaving me for one second during this ordeal.

There was nothing. Thank God I had Shane with me, to keep me calm and strong. To remind me of all that I had to be grateful for in that moment.

Jimmy came and Shane went with Grammy.

We focussed on getting through labor and tried to put all other thoughts out of our minds for the moment. I slept in a pitocin drip, and in the early morning I called in the midwife to get things going. She broke my water, my labor progressed furiously and I gave birth within the hour, at 7:30 am on January 29, 2010.

Jimmy held our baby girl and named her Brynn. I said her middle name would be Tessa, a nickname for Teresa that I always liked. She was utterly beautiful to us, perfect and heavy, weighing 6:14 almost 3 weeks early, and measuring 20 1/2 inches, taller than her brother had been. According to what we could see, and what we were told, there was no evidence of the cause of death. I couldn't help but ask her what happened, one of the few sentances I would utter to her little body. What happened to you?